batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
