He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
