Porn is love you can see.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
