The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
