all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
