I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
