you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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