Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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