My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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