i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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