mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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