Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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