Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
