you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
