Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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