a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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