I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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