There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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