I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
