i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
