dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
