put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
