Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
