he wants to bone in the snuggie
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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