Non-Jews are for practice
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
