take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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