I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
