You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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