Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
