when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
