The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
