GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
