dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
