Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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