He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
