Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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