im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
