I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
