so explain again why im purple
no
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
