There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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