you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
