Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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