apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
