my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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