and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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