I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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