And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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