i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
