Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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