Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
