hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i dont even know how to be here
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
