lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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