thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
